Reading Affectively // Suicide Note

How this reading makes me feel...

All my life I have tried to remind myself "everything happens for a reason." I remind myself this because I know that it all must be a part of God's plan and I trust His plan for me. Reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason compares to me that reminding yourself on a Thursday that tomorrow is Friday or even though you just spent a lot of money on a car, at least you have a sweet ride...and a car. Although the circumstances now may be pretty crappy, something better is going to turn out because of it. A situation may happen in your life where you do not understand at all at why it happened; you're frustrated, grieving, depressed, confused, etc. The belief that something amazing is going to happen from it is a difficult task to accomplish. How can we have so much strength and confidence that we are going to get out of this situation and be okay from it?

Reading Suicide Note was a slight impulse of mine. I was on my Kindle searching for something to spark my interest. The summary of the book was short but those five words hit me and I knew I had to read it...everything happens for a reason. As I began reading I felt many of the emotions that Jenn and Shane, and Jake feel in this book. I realized as I read further that I didn't relate with one character, but pretty much all of them. It made me think about how although you may think that someone is completely different than you and may be living their dream or has a great life...they may be fighting the same battle as you are. 

I must admit this isn't my favorite book nor does it have the best storyline, but it made me realize the bigger picture than just the words on the pages. I keep referring back to those five words "everything happens for a reason"; simple, yet so important are they. I have been fighting my own battles as well as everyone else on this planet and it was nice to get another wake up call to remind myself that my problems and worries don't take president over anyone else's. Not only did it remind me of that, but it also hit me a little more personally. There have been many times where I feel like giving up. To give up completely on things I hold close to my heart. I have had these thoughts due to going through tough times, not having the confidence and strength I needed, and most importantly not having a close relationship with God. All of those factors seem to be a roller coaster in my life. One minute I feel like everything is going alright and I have the strength to muster through any hard times coming my way, and the next minute I feel like the dirt on the bottom of someone's shoe. I feel so low and that I can't go on anymore. Although this book is not true, I still feel that I learned something from it. I can't give up when things are going wrong. I have to be strong enough to go on and get to the better part of my life. Problems and bad situations are always going to occur in people's lives, but it is how we deal with those problems to fully grasp them and take them as a tragedy or a blessing.

"Things spoken can be forgotten and forgiven, but the written word has the power to change the course of history, to alter our lives." 

My Page on Facebook // "I am"

I have a part of my project started! I created a Facebook page called "I am." Here's the description:

>> My last year of high school is coming to a close and I want to do something inspiring. I am currently in a Novels class, but this isn't your normal Novels class. We read, blog, and inspire. We read to get inspired from others words. At the end of our quarter we create something from what inspired us with what we read.

>> I read The Catcher in the Rye and was pretty moved by JD Salinger's word s. They were blunt, but they were real. All of us in the world today get so caught up in things that probably won't matter when we die. All of us in the world today have acted or still act like someone we're not. We can be phony, fake, and have no depth. But why? Because we conform to what is "normal" instead of being the person God set out for us to be; the person we should be most comfortable with: oUrSeLvEs.

>> "I am" is a part of my project. What I want this page to be is a source of reflecting on yourself and being inspired by other people's reflections. I want people to realize that other people are fighting the battle of not being true to themselves. We can all help each other to recognize who we really are, but first it starts with your individual self. Reflect on everything you've ever done and ask yourself, "Is that really who I am?"

>> What to do:

      >Reflect on who you really are as a person!
      >Type it out! Make a video! Get creative!
      >Go be this person!

>>Reminder..start off your wall post or video with "I am..."  

That's the description of my page, so go like it and express yourself! :) https://www.facebook.com/pages/I-am/305132322945760 "I am"

Free Write // To Kill A Mockingbird

As I finish up reading my last novel for this quarter I can honestly say how glad I am that I read To Kill A Mockingbird. Reading doesn't always come easy to everyone, but if you take the time to give yourself up to a book, the number of things you can come away with it are remarkable. There are a countless number of conflicts and messages put into this novel to give you new insights on life. Each individual message can affect you differently, but I promise you that they will give you a different perspective on life.
Throughout the novel you read about Scout, Jem, and Dill growing up. Scout seemed to be grown up all along. She is the type of person we need more of in our world today. Perhaps she should have thought before she spoke, but the overall message I am trying to explain is that we don't need to tailor our thoughts and opinions all the time to make them seem socially acceptable. Honesty will always be better than buttering up to someone. Yes, we need to know our boundaries but what if our boundaries our so tight that they end up suffocating our thoughts and opinions to where we only do and say what others want to hear. Sounds pretty unfair to me.
Harper Lee used a child as the narrator not only to show innocence but also to show that sometimes a child is smarter than an adult. I have experienced a number of times where a child has made me think about something in a completely different way. Harper Lee reminded me that we need to use everyone in the world. Everyone is important, everyone's voices should be heard, their feelings should be taken to heart, and that we are all equal no matter what the situation. Just like a book, people can change your perspective on anything in life, big or small.

Significant Part // To Kill A Mockingbird

A significant part for me in To Kill A Mockingbird would be the time Dill and Scout met Mr. Dolphus Raymond. Dill felt sick to his stomach during the trial, so Scout took him outside for awhile. While they were out there they encountered Mr. Raymond. He gave Dill a drink out of his mysterious brown sack of which everyone thought had alcohol in it. Scout warned Dill about Mr. Raymond before he started to drink whatever was in the sack which happened to just be Coca Cola.
When Dill stated to Scout that it was only Coca Cola, I felt like that was a very significant part. The significance in it was all of the rumors and gossip about Mr. Raymond being a horrible drunken man were shattered, because all of the rumors and gossip were nothing but rumors and gossip. Mr. Raymond went on to explain his way of life and why he chooses to pretend he's an alcoholic. I thought it was fascinating and slightly hard to wrap my mind around. Mr. Raymond was living his life as a lie, but not in the way most do. He was pretending to be a drunk so that everything else he did that wasn't "normal" in the eyes of society would seem "okay." Mr. Raymond explains in one sentence why he lives the way he does:

"...but you see they could never, never understand that I live like I do because that's the way I want to live." (201)

One could use the argument, "Why care what people think. Live the way you want to live." I suppose this could work a little better in our time, when people seem to be a bit more eccentric, but the human race will never stop judging others and creating rumors and gossip. So, Mr. Raymond (in the 1930's) probably felt that it was a better idea if he just lied and lived his life how he wanted to live it.


"Because you're children and you can understand it."

I felt like Harper Lee did a good job of explaining in her novel that children are capable of much more than adults think they are. In fact, children may be better at understanding problems and feelings in the world than adults are...another fascinating thing to think about. Lastly, Mr. Raymond goes on to say:

"Cry about the simple fact hell people give other people...without even stopping to think they're people too."

This statement made by Mr. Raymond was a perfect, yet simple way of summing up his life, colored people's lives, white people's lives, and anyone in the world's lives. We as people don't always understand the hurtful things we say to each other or how we treat each other. I love how Mr. Raymond mentions colored people, white people, and any people in general. He simply stated that it doesn't matter what color of skin you are, we as humans don't deserve to be treated differently than another. Too often do we just say without thinking if it's going to hurt that person. It's a problem we all know about and we are all well aware of it. It was important for Mr. Raymond to say this to Dill and Scout to make them aware of it at a young age. It was definitely a significant moment for Dill and Scout to take the time to get to know Mr. Raymond when everyone else judged him without getting to know him.